Make peace with life. You don't necessarily have to enjoy it or love it. The more you resist and resent the world and life, the harder you only make things for yourself. But once you learn to accept it, your perspective on everything begins to change. Of course, reaching a point where you can accept everything, regardless of the circumstances—whether good or bad—is incredibly difficult.

as i lay her waiting for the effects my hand falls limp my hair has grown old and gray my face long and old the needle rusts with gold as i lay my soul shattered from the fight is it too much to sow back together god? am i unbearable to look at even to you? have i strayed too far from your light to find my way out of this hole im sorry god i promise if you wake me up this will be the last time

I only eat and sleep, i dont want to do anything i hate it.

People are so fucking fake. Everyone is playing a social game, a game that is so ingrained in society that people don't even see how meaningless it is, the game has become the reality. The world would a lot more beautiful if people were honest with others and most importantly with themselves. But the funny thing is I don't despise THE GAME because it's pretentious, rather I despise it because I desperately want to be a part of it but I never learnt how to.

I wish I could just disappear, along with all my white noise, perhaps on the altar of this life.

ah. i am killing myself. in every single day.

You're not alone. I love you. A part of my existence is left in this message like in everything i create. For people to see it, remember me and eventually forget me. That's the cycle of life.

i wish the walls would swallow me or i melt away in the snow

i just want to disappear

As for you, you were dead in your transgressions and sins, in which you used to live when you followed the ways of this world and of the ruler of the kingdom of the air, the spirit who is now at work in those who are disobedient. All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our flesh and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature deserving of wrath. But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved. And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

زندگی تو تخیلات حس آزادی میده. خودت انتخاب میکنی کی هستی کجا هستی چطوری هستی. اگه از چیزی خوشت نیاد حذفش میکنی. ولی فقط تا جایی قشنگه. بعضی موقع ها مرز بین تخیلات و واقعیت باریک میشه. دیگه تحمل تصاویر پشت چشمت رو نداری. دلت میخواد لمسشون کنی. این یعنی وابستگی. احساس میکنی بدون اون توهمات نمیتونی روز رو بگذرونی چون اونا تنها راه خفه کردن صداهای تو سرت بودن. به یه جایی میرسی که دیگه کنترل تخیل هات رو نداری و چیزایی می بینی که نباید

the more i dig into space the more i find it hard to keep on living. when did humans become so complicated? there is more than just studying, working, living. what is that purpose i am searching for

Between illusions and fantasy, I've always searched for someone to share this nonsense with, but unfortunately, I haven't found anyone. So I live inside those illusions and enjoy myself virtually in my imagination. It's truly complicated, haha. What nonsense!

everything lately feels like a ritual of humiliation

when i die i will be transported into a middle road between nothing and eternal blue where orange sodium death rays of of the infinite alternate realities i sensed in my shallow lifetime illuminate my sins and perfections. the silent explosions under the crust of the warm ash surface floor will send infinite ripples up my nerves that lull me to sleep and a foggy tinnitus in my seeping wounds to keep me awake and blissfully miserable. at last home eternally.